Trying to Make Myself Happy

I find an urgency in that statement.

It's March, and I looked up February 2011, and all I wanna do is just omit it from my book of life. If I have a chance to erase my memories, or to comeback in the past and change it, I want to comeback and redo February 2011. So not productive, so full of pessimistic thoughts, waste of tears, so...not me.

I have to combat my Athazagoraphobia. I have to learn that I can be happy just by myself. If people left me, they will regret it, not me blaming myself for not keeping them.

I read my previous blogs and think how optimist I am at that time. How I said I will face life as it is, that I will come out from the storm to be a new person, a stronger one. How I build up my dreams instead of my worries. How I list things I wanna do, instead of things I don't wanna lose. How I laugh with my friends, instead of make them laugh all day and still crying in my sleep all night.

I don't blame anyone, or anything, and I don't blame me for all I've been through this month (and I don't think that anyone should know all the details either).

I guess February 2011 was there, to teach me about life, and how to shape me to be a stronger and better person.

I believe that 1 thing that I really want to excel in March 2011 is: Learn to Make Myself Happy.

And I'm working on it.